her bloody screams

Shame on you
you shouldn't have done that
you know
the way you bent her limbs into the trunk,
her contorted body,
it wasn't natural
of course, that wasn't the worst
The moment she knew
she was going to die
Was it when you held her down?
Spit in her eye?
Was it there all along,
did she wait for it like she knew?
What are you going to tell yourself
to make it all right?
Tomorrow is good for that
right now you're busy
wiping your mouth
and her bloody screams out of your mind
It was her fault, you know
the way she looked at you
it was too much
How could any man contain himself
and when she laughed at you
well, what did she expect
In your mind she's dead in the trunk
she may as well be
Instead, she sits beside you in silence
and the drive home is painful and awkward
she said things that didn't make sense,
you said things you wish you hadn't
She'll go on with her life
but you know that something was murdered tonight.

the creepy one

In the deepest night
and the darkest corners
you can feel me there
like a pulse of electricity
Leave me alone--
unless you, too,
have lost your fear
Unless the word "lonely"
means nothing
and "pain" passes right through you
If you are cold to the touch
If you haven't seen your reflection
for years
and have no need for tears
Then you have become it
you are a walking wound,
the creepy one people talk about
the one with hollow eyes
and vacant smiles, empty laughter
You are the void
you feel at home with me
rotting with the rest
of the human garbage
out of sight
Rape wasn't enough
you had to murder yourself
so it didn't feel so wrong
when others got around to it
Now you long for blood
but you've gnawed yourself down
to the bone
You know it won't be long
There's always company in these bleeding shadows.

under the streetlights

My stomach has turned on itself
I have no laurels to rest on
even if I wanted to
I am in need of someone familiar
but all I see are the eyes of strangers
I am sweating and gasping for air
but my exterior is calm and
cold to the touch
"Pretenders" is my favorite Bad Religion song
for reasons all too real
I have carried that theme
to ridiculous ends
The meandering vine of apathy
has crawled up my spine
and has paralyzed me, silenced me,
blinded me,
and now intends to do me in
If I had a finger free
I would call for you
Would you hear me?
Would you recognize my miserable state?
Can we play one more time,
pretend we are new again and
bound through golden fields
and smoky nights
Let's run free again
because we've let too many things
tie us down and bury us
I want to see your eyes
under the streetlights again
and to need nothing more.

changing the radio station

Girls run past you in the summer sun
you're amused and you're having fun
but what do they know?
You don't pay no mind,
hands busy changing the radio station
changing gears
You've got a lot of things
running through your brain
man, do you see yourself these days?
getting older, going gray
the sun always seems brighter
these days
The girls always seem to linger
less these days
like they see something you don't
but you see it,
don't you man
It's not part of the bigger plan
but it's all you've got
Running out of time
got old
ten miles back
You've gotten used to
living in the hollow, in the lack
What do you know, man?
You've got your pretty papers there
I've got bloodstains and scars
I've got the sun and
the naked stars
I've got the snarling, biting shadows
I've got the quiet
down by the river
Those girls and their glistening sweat
can't find me there,
alone with the moon.

where the shadows stretch long

Someday I won't fear the rain
Maybe someday
I won't fear anything at all
Once you've thrown everything you've got
Maybe rest will come
My synapses are on fire
My eyes are burning and red
I am a quivering mess of anxiety
You've got your hand out
but you slap mine away
You've got your party hats on
I've got my hammer and nails
If you get close enough
You can hear my clock ticking
I am a warrior
fighting in his sleep
I am an engine
abused and neglected
The wind brings the raindrops
the clouds blow away
but I am left here
in the dirt and the mire
I want to erase this place
with my hate, with a six pack of fire
I want to take you with me
where the rain never lingers
where the sun never fails
where the shadows stretch long
and laugh with carelessness.

suck the marrow out

This noise in my head
never makes sense
This noise in my head
never relents
I am a vagabond
broken in two
I am a hunter
looking for you
This place has grown old
I am afraid
these roots will hold me down
Right now, without you around
I just want those keys in my hand
I want to cut and run
I want to have a little fun
Can we
set fire to photographs and ancient ghosts,
Can we
kill the beasts in the sunny vales,
roast their bones and
suck the marrow out?
I want to
blaspheme a thousand gods,
cover myself in murky waters,
shout the devil out
I need this sacrifice,
I need this unholy exercise
to feel like I'm not just alive
I need your
blood pumping in me
I need your
lascivious lips and simmering eyes
to remind me
that sunsets don't last forever.