comfortable lies

You have a habit
of doing what I do
saying what I say
saying it the same way
it makes me wonder
if your smile is just a charade
everyone wants something
you're no different
I know what I want--
to be left alone

there was a time when
all I wanted was the truth
but the truth is a hard fit
so I'll settle
for comfortable lies
I've been thinking
there's got to be more than this
but I also know
my best years are gone
what good is truth
what good is direction
what good is that girl
smiling at me
what good are these things
if I can't use them?

channeling Jonah

It's the one thing that I know
and you're trying
to convince me it's not real
even the natural world
that you say you love so much
cries out the truth
go ahead, tell me I'm wrong
the world itself
is laughing at you
the world itself
is wondering
when you're going to open your eyes
I'm not here to apologize
or offer proof
God knows
I have enough trouble
just getting along
God knows
I will run to the end
of my short leash
and return again

I am surrounded
by failed experiments
fading ambitions
reminders poignant and plain
I am just a man
capable
but increasingly cumbersome
the future
no matter the distance
is painted in shades of fear
ladies and gentlemen
I've made my stand
I've hollowed out a well of hope
in this tired and thirsty land
there's more than enough
to fill every soul
but I can see your disbelief
turning you around
and turning you out
to where the souls and spirits of men
are ground down and blown about
like so many grains of sand.

fly on the wall (t.a.t.u.)

*Song is Fly on the Wall.  Video is White Robe (there is an uncensored version that is also very nice).  Sometimes pop music has perfect lyrics, what can I say?  And the whole thing is made more fun with the Russian accents.*

when you're naked in the shower
when you're sleeping for an hour
when you're big, when you're small
oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall

when you're with her after midnight
when you kiss her in the dim light
when you break Barbie Doll
oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall

wanna see who you are
every inch, every scar
from your head to your toes
I would be there
from your bed to your clothes
I'm in the air

when you think you're alone
I'll be down in the hall
I could see it, if I was a fly on the wall
what you do in your room
I could see it all
you undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall, yeah

for the drama that you're drinking
and the dark thought you are thinking
and the love notes that you scrawl
oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall

silently I arrive
you don't know I'm alive
from your head to your toes
I would be there
from your bed to your clothes
I'm in the air

when you think you're alone
I'll be down in the hall
I could see it, if I was a fly on the wall
what you do in your room
I could see it all
you undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall, yeah

ever closer, ever nearer
when you're looking in the mirror
I would know who you call
if I was a fly on the wall

from your head to your toes
I would be there
from your bed to your clothes
I'm in the air.

Milo's song

There's the sound of rain
wheezing, broken ships on the shore
there's a smell in the air
it's death
and now it's wafting over me
every sailor
sounds the depths
of his own treacherous travels
I have found myself here
broken, breaking
shattered and sinking
there are nascent bits of memory
roaring through me now
all of us together
running in the sun
all of us unbroken
maelstroms of energy
piercing the world

I never knew love
until I saw you
never knew you could exist
but I digress
they never told me
you'd be waiting for me at the end
I wish they had told me
it would have made everything okay
it would have made
everything make sense

I'm slipping now
into the great abyss
hands like vices
are forcing me under
and dragging me down
I have water in my lungs
and tears in my eyes
this isn't how
I wanted to say goodbye

be a good girl now
be a friend
never look behind
never retrace your steps
because you might find me there
still
running in the sun
unmolested by care
still running
toward an unknown you.

burning boy

Can I defend myself
from your scurrilous theories
from your cookie-cutter prejudice
from your distracting accusations
your small town small-mindedness
as they say
the best defense
is a good "fuck you"
let's face it
that's all I've ever had for you
I live my life in spite
like Suffer's burning boy
still walking the streets of your town
still sneering at mindless conventions
still hollow with pity for so many

have I grown dim and hopeless
I've always been this way
has my melancholy prevailed
it always has
do the nights still torment me
of course
am I sane when I say
you're no better
you be the judge
you be the jury
sentence me as you must
at the end of the day
I can always walk away.

neighborhood watch

I ain't drink no beer
and I ain't thinkin' too clear
nobody comes around no more
that's just fine
I get tired of putting on a face
I get tired of watching you play nice
with every beast and burning bush
there's got to be some truth
in these perfect lies
there's got to be an answer
hiding behind your eyes

I ain't drink no beer
nothing can take away my fear
something rose up in me
when I saw
something lay down in you
when I saw
that queer look on your face
there are those who have sold out
they've been made drunk
on cultural insecurities
it's clear to me
you have partaken

I ain't drink no beer
not that it matters to you but
I feel pretty close to the end
everybody who knows anything
knows I've exceeded all expectations
I'm still alive
I'm still here
so I think I might just
have a beer.