normal

My imagination returns me to the top of the mountain. I've been climbing, struggling, sweating a cold sweat. I've reached the top. Out of breath, I circle wildly. My heart pounds, my head explodes with endorphins. The world is displayed under and around me. As my face contorts with pleasure, I dimly realize I am completely alone.

All I ever wanted
was to take you with me
to share the same view
to breathe the same air
to be struck
by the sun and the rain together
You and I are a whole
Without you
I am hollow, incomplete
My love letters to you
reek of distance and pain
What I want is so simple
Have you ever wanted something
so fucking bad
it seems so close, so possible
but you never quite get it?
That's you and me
These pages have become a repository
for suicide notes
for prayers
to a faraway God
for anyone who will listen
for someone to staunch the bleeding

What I want is to be normal
sane and oblivious
but sanity looks like madness these days
So I'll spend my time
with the filthy, the reprobate
because they already know
we're all just headed
for the big disappointment.