remember me

It's springtime
but it doesn't feel like it
It's always hard
to see people go
so says the eternal loner
the man without a cellphone
Even stranger
to see the old faces
peering in on the remnants of me
Here I am
slowly dissolving
how's it been
you look good
I can't wait to get home
get drunk
piss out the anxiety
ammonia and misery
Let me erase
let me forget
No, you won't let me
you won't walk away
until you make sure I remember
(like I could ever forget)
Just let me slip into the water
I am an ancient creature
the same as I've always been
My father always said
I've never changed
That may be
but now I'm staring at an empty street
I feel fine
and that's alarming
Why don't I feel torn up, tormented
God knows
I've put in my time
why do you get to walk away
while I vibrate and chafe
This unnerving apathy
is what's bothering me
Nothing seems to matter
just surviving and carrying on
I am a soldier intent on getting home
but home is a device found in fairy tales
So as you're leaving this town
take a look back
remember me as I am
because the next few years
will not be kind to me
If you feel anything for me
now is the time to say it
because someone is freezing my assets
shutting off the lights
and is calling my name
at the end of a dark corridor
I know the drill
but I'm the last one to leave
Let me have these silent moments

Without the noise
I can actually feel myself
giving up.