when the stars fell

You didn't walk in my shoes
did you motherfucker
you weren't there
when the stars were falling
from those Sherman Oaks skies
you didn't see that girl
with the puppy dog eyes
and how I slashed her throat
on a quiet street
the pavement radiating heat
a red river searching for the gutter
I was so young
and so mean
it took me years
to figure out why

only the streetlights
saw us for what we were
I was a butcher
a sadistic and unrepentant outsider
finally exacting revenge
on a beautiful girl
you were a doll in my hands
naked and captured

when the stars fell
you wanted me to kiss you
I can still see your face
turned up to mine
but I didn't kiss you
instead, I became
a legend, a myth, a ghost
anything and everything
but what you wanted me to be

so I guess it's time
for the apology
but it's hard to repent
when my whole world is burning
it's hard to repent
when you're safe and sound
wherever you are
it's just me here
perusing past sins
refusing to move on
fingering the years
like some sort of god
so go on living and thriving
wherever you are
I see things now
I never could then
you were the sun
and I was drawing the blinds
you were making believe
and I was making my getaway
whatever dreams you had
I hope they're yours now
I like to think of you out there
as I face this window
and ponder my dying world.