expect friction

I've always told myself
I can have whatever I want
the problem is--
what I want is a bounty of filth and disease
what I want is
a thousand strange girls all for myself
endless debauched nights
of cigarettes and alcohol
these things can be mine
but
I've got to expect friction
princes and principalities
will have to realign
the angel on my shoulder
will have to resign
day will turn into night
this beast will become a monster
and I will have to say goodbye
to the one who restrains me
the one who contains me
maims me with one look
from those innocent eyes
she is the one who remains
my conscience
my virtue and my guide
without her
there is laughter but it is cruel
there is hope but it is false
there are dreams but I call them nightmares
without her
it's easy to see the simple truth:
that I have all but disappeared.