Crime Story

*A bit of a Dennis Farina tribute.  Crime Story was one of my favorite shows in the 80s.  Short-lived, of course.*

still into you

*Because after sixteen years (nine years with a ring on my finger), I still feel the same way.  A very lighthearted video, but reading the lyrics lends depth.*  

Can’t count the years on one hand
that we’ve been together
I need the other one to hold you
make you feel, make you feel better
it’s not a walk in the park
to love each other
but when our fingers interlock
can’t deny, can’t deny
you’re worth it

cause after all this time
I’m still into you

I should be over all the butterflies
but I’m into you
and baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you
let em wonder how we got this far
cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
yeah after all this time
I’m still into you

recount the night that I first
met your mother
and on the drive back to my house
I told you that, I told you that I loved ya
you felt the weight of the world
fall off your shoulder
and to your favorite song
we sang along to the start of forever

and after all this time
I’m still into you

I should be over all the butterflies
but I’m into you
and baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you
let em wonder how we got this far
cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
yeah after all this time
I’m still into you

some things just
some things just make sense
and one of those is you and I
some things just
some things just make sense
and even after all this time
I’m into you
baby not a day goes by that
I’m not into you

I should be over all the butterflies
but I’m into you
and baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you
let em wonder how we got this far
cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
yeah after all this time
I’m still into you.

thank you

Where were you
when the music died
were you in the darkness
cigarette in mouth
notebook in hand
staring into the woods
were you working your life away, toiling endlessly
were you on the highway
caffeine-addled and sleep-deprived?

where were you, my friend
when your life turned
from comedy to tragedy
were you busy in the shower
washing the hate from your skin
were you on the roof alone
drunk, with only the streetlights
to bear witness?

were you buried in rain
were you gasping for breath
were you cursing the walls
cursing yourself
and everyone else?

where were you
when the life you knew
excused itself
and then committed suicide
while you walked away?

when did the night
and the diesel roar
become your enemy
when did you walk away
from your own bleeding wounds
what sent you into the night
never to return?

who stands in your stead
answers to your name
uses your mouth, your hands
makes love
but in the mirror
refuses to make eye contact
who is this man
living, breathing in your stead
is he the answer to the question
how do you begin
once the music ends?

he is waiting
for you to thank him
for pulling you out
of so much misery.

begin again

You bred me to be hard
cauterized my exterior
disciplined me with rigor
planted in me integrity
and cultivated in me a wilfulness
that exceeds the limits of my body

with great wonder
I realize you've loosed me
into a world much my enemy
for what purpose?
to refine me?
to keep me close?
to break me?

I have thirsted for you
since my life began
sought you out in every dark corner
you raised me to see
the world so differently
created me this way

in the coldest nights
I felt your warmth
in my lowest moments
you sustained me
when I lost faith in myself
you recompensed my loss

I have Jonah in my veins
stubborn and strong
I have resisted and persisted
to my own destruction

when I found
the end of myself
you were there
to help me begin again.

aftermath

 

Gold is something
pain is something
everybody knows
I ain't got nothin
round and round
here we go again
little girl
where have you been?

I've been waiting
contrite and cold
out in the night
among the rain
among the stars
Haitian necklaces
burning cars
itching scars
forgotten
alone

I burrowed into the night
what is fear?
I have become it
what is rage?
it's what I am
burning boy
meet burning man

hold out your hands little girl
you will become
my broken one
you can't remember
how could you
how I would writhe
how I would plead
how I would bleed
how I would burn
turn your back
before I turn on you
baby girl
I've been ground down
more aftermath than man
help me if you can
put an end
to this hardscrabble man.