a thirst in me

Why do such cold nights
follow in your wake
why are your eyes so stalwart
and shining when they despise me
It is a trap
and I have been snared
there is a thirst in me
for your evil
There are so many ways
this can go wrong
but I blindly feel for you
I am the caustic, failing, graying
man with too much on his hands
and never enough time
I have put questions in your eyes
you've put a war in my guts
What are the chances
we'll get out of this alive
I just want the torments to cease
the nights put to sleep
and your hands back in your lap
Someday I will be at rest,
at peace with myself
Girls like you won't twist me,
break me, sabotage me
someday I'll stop this endless reiteration,
this poorly written and poorly acted tragedy
someday my vile mind
won't conjure you
and maybe someday
I won't need your sad songs
to keep me alive.