if there is hope

The lights have gone out
in your brain again
The night is a menace
and it breeds pestilence,
breathes it into you
So many hands grope you
so many voices render you speechless
so much blame to go around
but it's just you here
Like a puppet
you play along
hoping they'll get tired
of such easy thrills
but they never do
The answering machine is blinking
you know, though,
the line's gone dead
Money can't fix you
time doesn't heal this
running got old so long ago, so
you wait and hope
that you will simply dissolve
and cease to exist
No drug can keep you up
and people just drag you down
Those pretty people
and those nice families
just remind you of your hopeless state
If there is hope at all
then it exists in black and white
if there is a cure
then it is subtle,
an inoculation you never feel
Is it in me now?
I bite my lip
and imagine it there.