machines break

I am driven beyond
the limits of my body
so many times I have broken down
and wondered why
I say when it is enough
I say what gets done and when--
not this brittle casing,
this angry old soldier
I am a belligerent and humorless
taskmaster
When will I learn
machines break and we fix them
but what have I done
to fix myself
What sort of repairs,
what maintenance have I scheduled
My own body has become a reminder
of the war I have waged
there are gunners in my eyes
subterfuge on my lips
hellfire in my heart
and lingering shrapnel in my flesh
This war is a consumption
and when it stops
so will I.