after you left

You've shut that book and opened
to other burning pages
you thought they just
left you behind
Now you realize
they left you for dead
Why did you come back
why did this
mean so much to you?
Melting in the hot fires of confusion
is surely better than
freezing in this awful rain
Is this what you fought for?
Have you gained the respect
you thought you would?
Where are your friends now
they're all looking in
on what you walked out on
It seems that quitting
has made you the very worst
example of yourself
You are a sagging, miserable
mess of a man
unable to generate thoughts
or to turn thoughts into words
left to your own devices
after you left that sweaty party
Here you are--
alone and better for it
Here you sit
and finger your bravery.

dressed to the nines

She left you in the coldest month
she left you alone and waiting
like a disease
like a storm
like the end of your favorite song
What did her eyes tell you
when they tried so hard
to ignore you
What did her lips say
when she soundlessly read her magazine
what was the lesson in all of this
or is it just life,
messy and cold?
Her name is almost forgotten
but her face is a glyph
forever etched in your simple mind
Do you remember the first time
she crossed your path
and forever betrayed your fragile synapses?
She is gone
but not in your primal brain
those days, those moments
those years have made you
who you are
but those days are gone
reluctantly, you move on
You are a shadow overlaying another
dressed to the nines
ready to kill
ready for a thrill
so tired of feasting on broken dreams.

when the sky turns red

How far can you run, man
how far can you run
even if you get a fine head start
you know you can't run forever
Someday you know it's coming
someday they'll spill your blood
and you'll finally get it--
what this is all about
you'll get it
and you'll be glad
Life is a scary mix of lows and highs
you never know when
it's going to end
you never know what's
itching to meet you
around the next bend
You've seen enough to know
the game's not fair
the rich get richer
and the rest suffer more
But when the sky turns red
and those tiny leaves come down
your eyes light up,
your synapses on fire
and you can't think
of any other place to be
Right now,
you have it in you
the fire
the verve
the string of endless thoughts
connecting time and space
You feel those unabashed breezes
and remain the most grateful microcosm.

line upon line

Once you've gone through the fire
and the pain wears off
will you remember
the massiveness of your achievement
or will it always be
onto the next thing?
Your memory eludes you
so you write it down
Time is the ocean
and your sand castles
don't stand a chance
These rules I've made
will someday break me
these lines I write
just might save me
The onlookers don't know anything
they boo and hiss
out of boredom and frustration
This is my shaky crutch
fashioned from necessity
fashioned with great pains
line upon line
I'm coming clean
line upon line
I'll tell you what I've seen
This is the time to say it loud
this is the time
to make it clear
I'll break these words and lay them down for you
line upon line.

feasting like a dog

I am saturated
dripping in confusion
My pain is a tedious lover
it will not let go
I have desired many things
taken many by force
Always, I am left with a dull pain
and the realization that I am emptier
Feasting like a dog
leads to vomiting like a dog
I am sore and slow now
but not much shakes me
In my canister of pain
it is a safe and predictable existence
what did they tell you life would be like
once you got there?
Is it everything they told you?
Well, I'm still here
basking in the waning sunshine
I know I don't have much time
but time doesn't scare me anymore
You see that my veneer
has turned cruel and cold
but you don't know the havoc
that has been wrought inside
This is my life
these are my times
I write it down
because someday
someone might care.