feasting like a dog

I am saturated
dripping in confusion
My pain is a tedious lover
it will not let go
I have desired many things
taken many by force
Always, I am left with a dull pain
and the realization that I am emptier
Feasting like a dog
leads to vomiting like a dog
I am sore and slow now
but not much shakes me
In my canister of pain
it is a safe and predictable existence
what did they tell you life would be like
once you got there?
Is it everything they told you?
Well, I'm still here
basking in the waning sunshine
I know I don't have much time
but time doesn't scare me anymore
You see that my veneer
has turned cruel and cold
but you don't know the havoc
that has been wrought inside
This is my life
these are my times
I write it down
because someday
someone might care.