after you left

You've shut that book and opened
to other burning pages
you thought they just
left you behind
Now you realize
they left you for dead
Why did you come back
why did this
mean so much to you?
Melting in the hot fires of confusion
is surely better than
freezing in this awful rain
Is this what you fought for?
Have you gained the respect
you thought you would?
Where are your friends now
they're all looking in
on what you walked out on
It seems that quitting
has made you the very worst
example of yourself
You are a sagging, miserable
mess of a man
unable to generate thoughts
or to turn thoughts into words
left to your own devices
after you left that sweaty party
Here you are--
alone and better for it
Here you sit
and finger your bravery.