leaving Nebraska

I feel like
there are ten people inside me
and they all want
something different
Sometimes I feel you watch me
a little too closely
Am I getting out of hand?
There was a time
when I ruled the world
If I look closely
in the dimmest parts of my memory
it's still there
That's me on the playground
still having fun
that's me still basking
in the setting sun
I have a thousand handfuls
of these rusted dreams
and bullshit schemes
All I wanted to do was get out
all I wanted to do
was find you
I got out
but I didn't get far
Everything chasing me
was always inside
I didn't want to be there
I vowed to leave there
I cried myself to sleep for weeks
after we moved there
I never wanted anything from anyone
but a ticket out
Yet, I grew there
became a man there
stared down so many awful days there
and here I stand
rearranged and stamped by it
I just want some peace
before I die
but there's no peace inside
Peace smells like boredom
and that's one concept I despise
No, I haven't been back
and make no plans to do so
No, I didn't leave
any part of me there
just so much wasted time
So remember me
and the way I was
shooting hoops until the light was gone
because that's the way
I'll always be.