planets collide

Such eyes
such lips
your skin on mine
was like a fire
your breath, your body
was like a furnace
I fell into you
little girl
were you burning for me
 
so many tried
so many failed
you didn't need keys
you didn't even knock
you knew you owned me
from the very beginning
what are you doing now
what conquests have you heaped
on your virgin body
what battles have you won
what percentage have you lost
are you still kind
do you still think of that abrasive,
fucked-up kid who had
too many ideas and too many bones to pick
do you still see him
monumental, ancient, sold-out
I think of you
I keep you in a box marked
"failure" with all the rest

your pieces never fit
you and I were perpetually broken
it's a wonder
you withstood me so long
maybe you were lured
by the same juvenile fantasy
by the same beautiful logic
that makes planets collide

maybe you still feel me
when the moon finds you lonely
or maybe you've won that war
maybe someday you'll remember me
still running in those ancient fields
still sixteen
still trying to beat the devil
still raging
still crying
still making believe
still partial to sad stories
because that's what you'll always be to me.

so much wine (handsome family)

*A Christmas song, Handsome Family style.*

I had nothing to say
on Christmas day
when you threw all your clothes in the snow
when you burnt your hair
knocked over chairs
I just tried to stay out of your way
but when you fell asleep
with blood on your teeth
I got in my car and drove away

listen to me, butterfly,
there's only so much wine
you can drink
in one life
but it will never be enough
to save you from
the bottom of your glass

where the state highway starts
I parked my car
I got out and stared up at the stars
as meteors died and shot cross the sky
I thought about your sad, shining eyes
I came back for my clothes
when the sun finally rose
but you were still passed out on the floor.

leaves of three

The moon is bright
my world is burning
I can see all
I can understand all
the rain is morose
the cold is unkind
the wind is a pestilence
this is Ohio
what did I expect to find?
little girls with little minds
is that what I came here for?
have your fun with me
before I'm done with this
before I'm too old
before the brilliant moon
leaves us all
in the dark again

leaves of three
let it be
my soul is poison
no one in
nothing out
a beautiful facade
a perplexing cage
what a weary end
to a miracle of a man
every word, every action
is guarded
every moment holds promise
that I painstakingly snuff out.  

tomorrow

They say salvation
comes from the hills
but I know
it is in vain
they say the wind
is the voice
of our ancestors
our much-pulverized ground
is sacred, is hallow
our breath is not ours
it was someone else's before
and will be someone else's after
what is truth
if it cannot be measured
is your world
as old as you believe?
aren't we all
just waiting for the fall?
are you like me
searching for the master's hand?

games are fun
life is joy
I don't want to take it away
from anyone
from the day I was born
I never believed
that I could or would belong
you ask me why
I don't take the easy way out
my reply:
a shrug and a smile
this is what you do
when you've been down a while
I had no choice
spat out on this planet
ill-formed and unplanned
broken by so many things
hated by so many
I remain unchanged
still lacking in all the same ways
the boy who couldn't fit
the boy who couldn't sit
I feel the pull of eternity

this damned world insists
that there is nothing greater
than today
but this world needs
more tomorrows.

the devil in stitches (bad religion)

*This is a Brett song.  I know it's co-written, but Mr. Brett has his fingerprints all over this one.*

Hey
angels fall down without warning
cherry lipstick on their teeth
and all dangerous curves
she had a bullet-proof mind
and big pawn-shop eyes
and nothing you could say would get to her

so don't look homeward, angel, from that rumble seat
I can strum twice and make it all go away
we'll tap every last drop
until that beating stops
and let the devil come join us dancing
across that yellow sun

we'll run
because the devil in stitches only has his fun
performing for the chosen one
we can run

she was living on the edge of a knife
his head was filled with restless ghosts
it's so easy to love a bringer-of-destruction
she said
darling I love you madly

black tear-stained cheeks behind her shattered window
praying for a song to save her life
I had a paperback crime
running straight down my spine
so let the devil come join us dancing
across that yellow sun

we'll run
while the devil in stitches goes and has his fun
performing for the chosen one
we can run

wild in the street
like a formal procession
of love and deceit
I will carry you home
like a bride from the wreckage
Here's your punch-drunk cupid
knocked clean out of his senses

I know he drove her out to the brink
that's where they stood and looked down
right then he made a decision
that's where they made a division
declaring war on the weather
a reckless pact with forever
so come on and sing
sing hallelujah
right now.

and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands

The seasons changed
and left me behind
everyone told me
I'd be just fine
everyone, including you,
was begging me
to stay on the line

what are my chances
can I make it
another year
how much patience
how much strength
do I possess
do I have a choice at all
I choose today

today is my day
and what a beautiful day
no one can feel lonely
on such a beautiful day
this is my Mount Zion
this is my home
this is my sun, my sky, my air
this is a perfect day
and it is mine

tomorrow is more "suffering
in the furnace of affliction"
tomorrow awaits
and a thousand more conspire
I'm not stupid
I see them lining up
I see them
unholy and unabashed
I see them waiting for me
to surrender this beautiful day

wars and rape
are made of this struggle
this moment in time
I will never surrender
this coalesced  rhyme
is sandstone and Kristin Braley
three brothers at Chautauqua
girls in the summer rain
Leonids and northern lights
this moment in time
is beautiful
and it is mine.

halloween (alkaline trio)

*I believe he sings "in groves" when he should be singing 

"in droves." Or, perhaps I have the wrong lyrics.  "In Groves" is 

appropriate, considering the spiritual significance.*   

Bonfires burning bright
pumpkin faces in the night
I remember Halloween

dead cats hanging from poles
little dead are out in droves
I remember Halloween

brown leafed vertigo
where skeletal life is known
I remember Halloween

this day anything goes
burning bodies hanging from poles
I remember Halloween

Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

candy apples and razor blades
little dead are soon in graves
I remember Halloween

this day anything goes
burning bodies hanging from poles
I remember 

Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween . . .

arms open wide

When I left you this morning
I started crying--
your life should not be like this
when I walked out the door
I left you
to fend for yourself

another day
another death march
another pointless exercise
in walking, talking and breathing

how many years can you go on
facing such bleak prospects
how many times can you
lick your wounds
what happens when the wounds
refuse to heal

when death comes calling
I fear you won't run and hide
when death comes calling
I see you running
arms open wide.

miserable postcards

When I'm gone
there will be silence
but right now
there is noise
there will be no dreams
no music, no laughter
so
apart from the noise
I'm not really here
apart from the noise
there is nothing--
just an aching, fetid wound
that I call my life

sorry for
all of the miserable postcards
sorry for
forcing so many tears
if I knew I'd end up this way
I never would have begun a life with you

what are dreams
to a sleep-deprived man?
what is a handout and a smile
to a haggard beggar?
what is a fix
to a junkie?
it's what you are to me.

wester (AFI)

I can feel you
waiting for me  
when the sun 
retreats to the hills and I  
below the blanket of a burning sky  
wrap myself within
embraced by dead leaves 
as the rain leaves  
trails of black down my face
and I  
creep through the twilight to that hidden place 
beyond the lonely 
I'll meet you

tonight in the whispers when no one's around  
nothing can stop us now  
tonight in the whispers where we won't be found 
nothing can stop us now
 
well, I can feel you
dreaming of me  
and the time when our steps are retraced 
and I 
creep through the twilight to that hidden place  
beyond the lonely 
I'll meet you

tonight in the whispers when no one's around  
nothing can stop us now  
tonight in the whispers where we won't be found 
nothing can stop us now
tonight in the whispers when no one's around 
nothing can stop us now  
tonight in the whispers where we won't be found  
nothing can stop us . . . . 

endless road

You can say what you want
about this dying man
and his dying words
but there's still breath in my body
there's still hope in the clouds
I still get excited
about good fucking lyrics
about storm clouds and rain
I still get excited about the endless road
good sex, good music
about "anything goes"
I still get excited
about you and me

I'm a dirty man
with dirty thoughts
and dirty hands
sometimes I know
I embody the word "jaded"
but as long as
there are places to go
and a girl to bring along
I can still get excited
about the endless road.

bottle rockets (face to face)

*From the EP "So why aren't you happy?"  This is a band, I'm glad to say, that has recently resurrected.*

Thought that I'd be strong enough for both of us
and you had given up
is there anybody strong enough for you
she said she's scared of waking up
she's realized it's all been a mistake
she didn't have to be afraid

but you walked out on me
it doesn't really matter what you said
'cause I've tried
to turn this water into wine

it doesn't have to be so hard to understand
the things that we should do
I know I made it difficult for you
she said I couldn't give enough
to make her feel the way she wanted to
this doesn't have to be so hard

but you walked out on me
it doesn't really matter what you said
and I tried
to turn this water into wine

it takes time
its not that way
there are several different answers here
but you just walked away.

life sentence

How long you in for
thirty-five years
what's the punishment
a thousand tears
what's on the line
nothing at all
just another broken
and battered soul
waiting for the warden
to call "parole"

I waited so long
I turned it into a game
waited beyond my limits
my reason and strength of will
I waited
but my time never came

I'm too old now
gray in the head
burned out but still trying
it's not graceful
it's not cute
living this way
always waiting
and never knowing anything
always waiting
always waiting.

leaders and followers (bad religion)

*One of my favorite b-sides.  Featured on the Clerks soundtrack.*

There's the image of a man
who commands a high opinion
but he hides his hatred with a sheepish grin
and beside him flanking closely
are the boisterous hollow masses
who lap up whatever trickles in

this intercourse of nature,
this vulgar social pastime
reflects the lowest mark of our progress
and the few who ride peripheral
maintain subtle advantage
fighting hard to abstain and redress

do you know your place
in the big charade?
are you more than they?
leaders and followers
leaders and followers

recognition by proximity
and a brand new face
just a smidgen of success pie
and a pinch of social grace
you can play with the big boys
or you can tell them what to do
but sooner or later there's another one like you

the voyeuristic public
of which we're all a part
maintains perspective on the human play
and while many have desires
of joining in the show
many turn and go the other way

tell me
do you know your place
in the big parade?
are you fear and shame?

safety valve

So many lines devoted
to simply ceasing
all I've wanted in my life
is to be done
all I've wanted
is the end

don't tell me
when it's over
it will begin again

stop the clock
stop the waiting
everything must cease
this is what
every neuron in my body is screaming

I've bled out these lines
as long as I've been alive
I've bled off the pressure
in private
so I don't combust
in public

this is my way
of staying safe and sane
this is my beloved safety valve
but I've abused this apparatus
and now it's abusing me
what do you do
when your safety valve
becomes a dangerous thing?

you happily await the end.

can't hardly wait (justin townes earle)

*Originally recorded by The Replacements in 1984 (when people used to write letters).  They recorded another version later on, and it was widely received.  Also included on the soundtrack of a movie by the same name (starring Jennifer Love Hewitt).  Oh, and I should mention.  Not grammatically correct. 

I'll write you a letter tomorrow
tonight I can't hold a pen
someone's got a stamp that I can borrow
I promise not to blow the address again

lights that flash in the evening,
through a crack in the drapes

Jesus rides beside me
He never buys any smokes
hurry up, hurry up, ain't you had enough of this stuff
ashtray floors, dirty clothes, and filthy jokes

see you're high and lonesome
try and try and try

lights that flash in the evening,
through a hole in the drapes
I'll be home when I'm sleeping
I can't hardly wait

I can't wait
hardly wait.

modern man (bad religion)

*Favorite Bad Religion song.*

I've got nothing to say
I've got nothing to do
all of my neurons are functioning smoothly
yet still I'm a cyborg just like you
I am one big myoma that thinks
my planet supports only me
I've got this one big problem:
will I live forever?
I've got just a short time you see

modern man
evolutionary betrayer
modern man
ecosystem destroyer
modern man
destroy yourself in shame
modern man
pathetic example of earth's organic heritage

when I look back and think
when I ponder and ask why
I see my ancestors spend with careless abandon
assuming eternal supply
modern man

just a sample of carbon-based wastage
just a fucking tragic epic of you and I.

when you're not here

the questions:

I wouldn't look forward to anything
if I were you
you ought to know better by now
you keep thinking
"someday soon"
but the man on the radio counters,
"someday never comes"
let's face it
your struggle is peculiar
time is fleeting
so why are you rushing it along
the end is nearer every day
there ought to be some hope in that
we are all finite
does that make you feel alright
the spirit of man is like a bird
his flesh is like a cage
break the cage
and the bird will be free
I've been watching you
for a while now
I don't believe you have the answers
how can you possibly believe
the words coming out of your mouth

the answer:

people cry at funerals
people shake their heads
I just wonder why
we pity the dead
we put their bodies in the ground
I wonder why
we don't look for their spirits in the sky
I don't know why
but that's nothing new
I don't know why
when you're not here
I can feel my body
rise off the ground
spirit and flesh fighting
spirit and flesh hastening
the inevitable
when you're not here
I can feel myself wishing
this broken body would disappear.

cold brook

Summer heat
staring out the blazing windows
yesterday
was nothing but rain
today it's just me
holed up here again
it's my fault I don't have any friends
I'm not blaming anyone else
I don't want anyone
to get this disease
another undersocialized, latch-key kid
thrown into the world unprepared
(such an unoriginal story)
another bored little misfit
trying hard not to burn the house down
I've tried many things
for many years
to keep myself buoyant
now I see
that I'm the one
keeping me down

summer heat
summer rain
lightning and thunder
brings it back to me again
there I am
riding my bike as fast as I can
knowing that I won't get home
before the storm overtakes me
knowing that it doesn't matter
no one knows where I am
and no one cares
that's the way it was
that's the way it is
you can contradict me
but you can't argue
with the still and burning air
you can't argue
with what I was
and what I've become
maybe you can find
that part of me
still waiting in the summer heat
for the storm to overcome me.

the progression in three parts

*Ten years ago, this is what I was listening to. 
Inspiring, maybe.  Revolutionary, no.*

snapcase - zombie prescription

No representation
of my voice
your prescription
set to destroy
our persistence
to boycott
silent partners you know we are not
we are the signs
of the changing

perseverance
we've come of age
collective interests to engage
we are the signs
of the changing times
cut you down to size
these are changing
these are changing
these are changing times

your preconceptions
condemning race
and your solutions
they cramp our space
self-sufficience
that is my goal
recognition
of some self-control.

*Now, this is what I listen to.  Inspiring, maybe.  Revolutionary, no.  The metaphor is beautiful, though.*

handsome family - darling, my darling

Darling, my darling,
look at my waving antennae
my barbed jaw and hard red pincers
the stripes running down my spine

darling, my darling,
watch me fly up in spirals
admire the horns ’neath my eyes
the fan of my beautiful wings
I’ll give you everything

darling, my darling,
I bow my leg like a cello
I perch on branches and bellow
while dreaming only of thee
I’ll give you everything

darling, my darling,
down in the dew-dropped rushes
I beat my head in the darkness
and build a fortress of tunnels

darling, my darling,
your snapping fangs don’t scare me
I’ll leap on your spine and love you
'til you gnaw me down to my wings
I’ll give you everything.

*Given this progression, in ten years, this is what I will probably be into.*

fragile

Life is all about
separating truth from fiction
the chaff from the wheat
the rare from the common
life is a boon to some
and a curse to others
the lines between us
are unevenly laid

you have those eyes
that can swallow the world
and I hold words
that can burn the world down
everything within me
is broken
broken
broken
and all I can offer
is the hope of a hopeless man
holding you like this
I feel incomprehensibly strong
I can crush
crush
crush you

pushing into you
feeling you at your weakest
I can break
break
break you
little girl
little one
you are the rarest thing I know.

smarter (eisley)

*There were some discrepancies with the lyrics that I found, so I just went with what I liked.*

If I had one wish
it'd be for you and all
your friends that didn't like me
And if I had one wish
it'd be that we had danced more at that apocryphal wedding
If I sound angry, I'm sorry
this body can only cry for so long
and if you want to blame me, then go on
I'm smiling now 'cause I'm smarter than you think

I'm smarter than you
I'm smarter than you think

and I apologize for
not telling you that my
halo was cut from paper
sliced from the fibers that made up all the parts
that we were together
and even though I miss you, I'm thankful
it's obvious that this run was futile
so put your hands together and clap for
the painful choice you've made 'cause it's right

I'm smarter than you
I'm smarter than you think
I'm smarter than you
I'm smarter than you think

you are the narcissist
you're everything you saw in me
(into the sea you fell
in love with the reflection of yourself)
you are the narcissist
you're everything you saw in me
(into the ocean's grip
I swam away to watch you drift
you failed to see I'm smarter than you think
I'm smarter than you think)

I'm smarter than you
I'm smarter than you think
I'm smarter than you
I'm smarter than you think

(I found out)
I'm smarter than you
(the hard way this time)
I'm smarter than you think
(we were right)
I'm smarter than you
(this was all wrong)
I'm smarter than you think.

wishing

You keep saying
what you're saying
and I'll keep playing along
I have so many words
and none of them are "sorry"
I have so many words
that you've never heard
what's the point
in keeping you informed?
I may as well
just talk to the wind
I've heard the preacher man say
the blind can see
the lame can walk
the dumb can speak
so I finger my thoughts
and hope these miracles for you

what's the point
in pointing out the truth?
what's the point
in saying I'm sorry?
there are no apologies
where I'm from
there are no ghosts
just people I used to know
there is no retribution
no words to help me cope
beyond all of that
I am fine
just as long as
I can close my eyes
and wish you all away.

the narrator

I don't know about you anymore
you've been doing
so many bad things
I saw you leave your soul here
when you walked out the door
yesterday is gone
I don't know why you insist
on carrying it around
the truth is rigid
like an anchor
but you prefer it liquid
like something to drink
you've been saying for so long
you're a monster
but now I see it
you're coming to the end of your song
now I hear you
if you don't believe in the truth
then what do you have?
you'll find yourself shivering
in a fantastical wonderland
if you don't actively search for truth
then you make yourself vulnerable
to every carrion bird
to every strong-arm opportunist

watch your television
feel the blood in your veins
see the soldiers line up
watch them all fall down
sit alone in your heartless tower
and watch the world bleed
knowing isn't doing
and you--
you enjoy the feeling
of sitting above the fray
never involved
always safely at a distance
above the stink of humanity
like Shakespeare
you have pity, you have love
the forever narrator
must read his lines
must control his face
when you feel the blood rise
you must rise higher
when it finally gets to you
you can always go
to where gods and goddesses conspire
against the human race.

clean up the mess (samiam)

 
*Like two minutes hate.  Only better.  Two minutes Samiam.*

clean up the mess that you made
clean up the mess that you made
clean up the mess that you made of me

this is gonna be
a better year for me
may not believe it but it's true
I'm not a scientist
don't follow politics
don't know how I know
I just do

clean up the mess that you made
clean up the mess that you made
clean up the mess that you made of me

I have a tendency
of being my worst enemy
but that's all over now
I call the truce
don't know if gods exist
or if they give a shit
bet money I'll be better off real soon

clean up the mess that you made
clean up the mess that you made
clean up the mess that you made of me.

on a sunday afternoon

*guest lyrics*

Stop the bleeding, now

cram your bullet wounds full of

what will only result in

more pain

more loneliness 

more nothing

feed your sadness, now

listen, obsess, indulge

to what can only bring more tears

over what can only bring more loss

in what can only bring more self-loathing

seek out your bitter punishment, now

self-flagellation and wallowing

never felt so good

masochism begets its hungry self

and you'll soon find yourself

full of more holes

bleeding out more wasted emotion

worse off than before

worse off than you can stomach

worse off than feeling something

feeling nothing.

comfortable lies

You have a habit
of doing what I do
saying what I say
saying it the same way
it makes me wonder
if your smile is just a charade
everyone wants something
you're no different
I know what I want--
to be left alone

there was a time when
all I wanted was the truth
but the truth is a hard fit
so I'll settle
for comfortable lies
I've been thinking
there's got to be more than this
but I also know
my best years are gone
what good is truth
what good is direction
what good is that girl
smiling at me
what good are these things
if I can't use them?

channeling Jonah

It's the one thing that I know
and you're trying
to convince me it's not real
even the natural world
that you say you love so much
cries out the truth
go ahead, tell me I'm wrong
the world itself
is laughing at you
the world itself
is wondering
when you're going to open your eyes
I'm not here to apologize
or offer proof
God knows
I have enough trouble
just getting along
God knows
I will run to the end
of my short leash
and return again

I am surrounded
by failed experiments
fading ambitions
reminders poignant and plain
I am just a man
capable
but increasingly cumbersome
the future
no matter the distance
is painted in shades of fear
ladies and gentlemen
I've made my stand
I've hollowed out a well of hope
in this tired and thirsty land
there's more than enough
to fill every soul
but I can see your disbelief
turning you around
and turning you out
to where the souls and spirits of men
are ground down and blown about
like so many grains of sand.

fly on the wall (t.a.t.u.)

*Song is Fly on the Wall.  Video is White Robe (there is an uncensored version that is also very nice).  Sometimes pop music has perfect lyrics, what can I say?  And the whole thing is made more fun with the Russian accents.*

when you're naked in the shower
when you're sleeping for an hour
when you're big, when you're small
oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall

when you're with her after midnight
when you kiss her in the dim light
when you break Barbie Doll
oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall

wanna see who you are
every inch, every scar
from your head to your toes
I would be there
from your bed to your clothes
I'm in the air

when you think you're alone
I'll be down in the hall
I could see it, if I was a fly on the wall
what you do in your room
I could see it all
you undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall, yeah

for the drama that you're drinking
and the dark thought you are thinking
and the love notes that you scrawl
oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall

silently I arrive
you don't know I'm alive
from your head to your toes
I would be there
from your bed to your clothes
I'm in the air

when you think you're alone
I'll be down in the hall
I could see it, if I was a fly on the wall
what you do in your room
I could see it all
you undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall, yeah

ever closer, ever nearer
when you're looking in the mirror
I would know who you call
if I was a fly on the wall

from your head to your toes
I would be there
from your bed to your clothes
I'm in the air.

Milo's song

There's the sound of rain
wheezing, broken ships on the shore
there's a smell in the air
it's death
and now it's wafting over me
every sailor
sounds the depths
of his own treacherous travels
I have found myself here
broken, breaking
shattered and sinking
there are nascent bits of memory
roaring through me now
all of us together
running in the sun
all of us unbroken
maelstroms of energy
piercing the world

I never knew love
until I saw you
never knew you could exist
but I digress
they never told me
you'd be waiting for me at the end
I wish they had told me
it would have made everything okay
it would have made
everything make sense

I'm slipping now
into the great abyss
hands like vices
are forcing me under
and dragging me down
I have water in my lungs
and tears in my eyes
this isn't how
I wanted to say goodbye

be a good girl now
be a friend
never look behind
never retrace your steps
because you might find me there
still
running in the sun
unmolested by care
still running
toward an unknown you.

burning boy

Can I defend myself
from your scurrilous theories
from your cookie-cutter prejudice
from your distracting accusations
your small town small-mindedness
as they say
the best defense
is a good "fuck you"
let's face it
that's all I've ever had for you
I live my life in spite
like Suffer's burning boy
still walking the streets of your town
still sneering at mindless conventions
still hollow with pity for so many

have I grown dim and hopeless
I've always been this way
has my melancholy prevailed
it always has
do the nights still torment me
of course
am I sane when I say
you're no better
you be the judge
you be the jury
sentence me as you must
at the end of the day
I can always walk away.

neighborhood watch

I ain't drink no beer
and I ain't thinkin' too clear
nobody comes around no more
that's just fine
I get tired of putting on a face
I get tired of watching you play nice
with every beast and burning bush
there's got to be some truth
in these perfect lies
there's got to be an answer
hiding behind your eyes

I ain't drink no beer
nothing can take away my fear
something rose up in me
when I saw
something lay down in you
when I saw
that queer look on your face
there are those who have sold out
they've been made drunk
on cultural insecurities
it's clear to me
you have partaken

I ain't drink no beer
not that it matters to you but
I feel pretty close to the end
everybody who knows anything
knows I've exceeded all expectations
I'm still alive
I'm still here
so I think I might just
have a beer.

burden (face to face)

*A favorite song from a favorite album.  Ignorance is Bliss is the album that broke up the band.  It essentially tore the fan-base into two warring factions.  Shows turned into riots.  They couldn't play the songs live.  Call it a lesson in knowing your audience, or call it a lesson in love.  The album had to be made.*

You could say I might find it difficult
to show it on the outside
from far away
I should seem as ordinary as would seem the truth
but all we find
dishonesty and lies
it's hard to recognize the truth
and why can't I discover what the reason is
that I know there`s something left that I should prove

I didn't mean to burden you
is there something more to this?
I didn't mean to burden you
is there something more to this?
was it something that I've already missed?

peel away the fear that I`m not good enough
to give back what I've taken
it's hard to say
the disappointment tends to make
the optimism fade
I'm still behind and running out of time
it's nothing but a trite excuse

and why can't I discover what the reason is
that I know there's something left that I should prove.

down here with the rest of us (social distortion)

*Sorry about the poor quality.  That's Blogger's fault. I upload pristine files but Blogger says, "Hey, how about we make everyone listen to shit instead?"  A real hard-luck story, I know.*

You work hard now

to put the food on the table
you're working for the men
who don't even know your name
that's the way that it goes
when you're down here with the rest of us
you might lose now
your beautiful children
your happy home, yeah
and your beautiful wife
that's the way that it goes
when you're down here with the rest of us

you'll suffer hard now
as you bury
your loved ones
you'll suffer hard now
when you lose your best friend
that's the way that it goes
when you're down here with the rest of us
that's the way that it goes
and I know how you feel

no one's immune now
to a world of problems
no one's exempt now
from a world of pain
that's the way that it goes
when you're down here with the rest of us

I try hard now
to do the right thing
yet I wonder
why I still do what's wrong
that's the way that it goes
when you're down here with the rest of us
that's the way that it goes
and I know how you feel.

day by day (hank III)

I've been runnin all around
just a-burning up the land
knowin how to have a damn good time
livin like no end
always ready to begin
burnin out to get to overdrive
tearin up the mountains
muddin up some fields
ridin rivers on a good day
runnin full throttle
and racin like hell
we're gonna make through one more day

yeah we're living day by day
getting by the old outlaw way
yeah we're living day by day
getting by the old outlaw way

Well I like ridin high
and now I'm a friend with overdrive
shootin guns and doin it my ol way
I've seen some good friends die
livin in this big ol lie
don't you know
that we're livin for today
I've been out on the run
doing what I can for fun
better watch your back
and get out of my way
living mighty fine
and working to stay alive
gotta make it through one more day

yeah we're living day by day
getting by the old outlaw way
yeah we're living day by day
getting by the old outlaw way
we got our own style of living a different way

coelacanth

It's hard blending in
when you're an ancient soul
so hard living in
a petrochemical meltdown
everything is plastic
everything disposable
litter is our new currency
the sun shines down
on more and more blight every day

future harvests are exchanged
for new subdivisions
old infrastructure is abandoned
left in the wake of a mobile society
left in the wake of manifest destiny
newer is better
and older is, well, old
so I guess that leaves me
out in the cold
on the fringes
out of place
out of time
looking for survivors
the last of my kind.

counting shadows

Shadows bleed
shadows rage
shadows blend in
shadows rattle your cage
what good is it to be alive
if you can't get your head above water
what good is the truth
if you insist on living a lie

shadows remind you
of the impending night
of the clairvoyant truth
if you're missing perspective
shadows will provide it

we are all broken here
we are simmering in discontent
I could do much better
than all of you
if I wasn't so damaged
if I was clothed and in my right mind
but that's a lot of ifs

tonight
when I turn out my light
I will count the shadows
number myself with them
and know
that I will never be alone.

stating the obvious

There is a way
there is the truth
there will always be
those who believe
as for me
I have found myself
all the way down

broken in mind and body
broken in spirit
unlike a man
all the way down

there are liars
there are dreamers
there will always be
those who believe
as for me
I have found my home burning
and it will burn
all the way down

broken in mind
broken in body
broken in spirit
unlike any man should be
I am
all the way down.

cure for pain (morphine)

Where is the ritual
and tell me where
where is the taste
where is the sacrifice
and tell me where
where is the faith

someday
there'll be a cure for pain
that's the day
I throw my drugs away
when they find a cure for pain

where is the cave
where the wise woman went
and tell me where
where's all that money that I spent

I propose a toast
to my self-control
you see it crawling
helpless on the floor

someday
there'll be a cure for pain
that's the day
I throw my drugs away
when they find a cure for pain.

tares and the wheat

You keep talking about
the tares and the wheat
but all I hear is
the pain in my feet
you've got dreams
and I've got schemes
we're both falling
apart at the seams
you've got love
and I've got hate
so much more
than the world can take

what you need from me
is a brand new day
what I need from you
is unending night
I'll never find the end
of my shortcomings
I don't expect you
to understand
life is fraught with
danger and boredom
I can't give you security
and I can't make you whole
I'm like all the rest--
looking for some fun
before the sun goes down
just looking for a quiet place
to lay my aching head.

out

I want out
out of this stinking skin
out of this place
beyond this sky
beyond all's grasp

hope is a bullet
and I crave its trajectory
tomorrow is a lie
that I've believed in too long
bring me the trump
bring me the eternal
this is my final request

boring into and boring out
of this hopeless place
has not rendered
anything of substance

is anyone home
to receive me?
is anyone there
who believes?
I am a beggar in the night
bewildered, full of fright
asking everyone I meet
do you know the way out?

monster (paramore)

You were my conscience
so solid, now you're like water
and we started drowning
not like we'd sink any further
but I let my heart go
it's somewhere down at the bottom
but I'll get a new one
and come back for the hope that you've stolen

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster
and eating us alive
don't you ever wonder how we survive?
well now that you're gone, the world is ours

I'm only human, I've got a skeleton in me
but I'm not the villain
despite what you're always preaching
call me a traitor
I'm just collecting your victims
and they're getting stronger
I hear them calling, calling

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster
and eating us alive
don't you ever wonder how we survive?
well now that you're gone, the world is ours

well you find your strength in solution
but I liked the tension
and not always knowing the answers
but you're gonna lose it
you're gonna lose it

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster
and eating us alive
don't you ever wonder how we survive?
well now that you're gone, the world . . .

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, eating us alive
don't you ever wonder how we survive?
now that you're gone, the world is ours.

bullets under mind control (viva death)

I won’t be here tomorrow
I won’t be on the road
you’ll find me out there somewhere high in the lows
hidden in the cycle
I’m going where it goes
keep the message coming on with the show

you’re one to one and counting
I know that no one knows
you’re getting everything you want and it shows
you’re starry eyed and smiling
flying coast to coast
take a perfect picture, live a life of leisure

don’t tell, your secret isn’t half as sweet
the moment dripping from your tongue
don’t say something that you might regret
keep bullets under mind control

panic in the playground
a likely overdose
take a number crashing one and zero
in brutal architecture
in sweet poetic prose
you’ll find me in the graveyard long in the rows

don’t tell, your secret isn’t half as sweet
the moment dripping from your tongue
don’t say something that you might regret
keep bullets under mind control

don’t tell, your secret isn’t half as sweet
the moment dripping from your tongue
don’t say something that you might regret
keep bullets under mind control.

let's do it (greg graffin & joan jett)

When the little bluebird
who has never said a word
starts to sing spring
when the little bluebell
at the bottom of the dell
starts to ring ding dong ding dong
when the little blue clerk
in the middle of his work
starts a tune to the moon up above
it is nature that is all
simply telling us to fall in love

and that's why birds do it, bees do it
even educated fleas do it
let's do it, let's fall in love

cold Cape Cod clams, 'gainst their wish, do it
even lazy jellyfish do it
let's do it, let's fall in love

I've heard that lizards and frogs do it
layin' on a rock
they say that roosters do it
with a doodle and cock

some Argentines, without means, do it
I hear even Boston beans do it
let's do it, let's fall in love

when the little bluebird
who has never said a word
starts to sing spring spring spring
when the little bluebell
at the bottom of the dell
starts to ring ding ding ding
when the little blue clerk
in the middle of his work
starts a tune

the most refined lady bugs do it
when a gentleman calls
moths in your rugs they do it
what's the use of moth balls

the chimpanzees in the zoos do it,
some courageous kangaroos do it
let's do it, let's fall in love

I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it
maybe even you and I might do it
let's do it, let's fall in love.

pain (tiger army)

Regret sits heavy in your chest
until sometimes
it gets so hard to breathe
sometimes it just won't go away
and you start to feel
it'll never leave
and when you think back on those times
it seems so close
just beyond your reach
but the past vanishes like smoke
from a cigarette
in the night breeze

please stop this pain
hurt for so long
pain
hurt for so long
I've felt this way for so long

how is it that things turned out this way?
what you hold most dear
has come and gone
since the time that everything was right
and now it just feels wrong
oh so wrong
and you're still dreaming of a time
when the day will come
that was meant to be
and you're still dreaming of a way
to reach that place
that you've never been

please stop this pain
hurt for so long
pain
hurt for so long
I've felt this way for so long.

new divide (linkin park)

Yes.  This could go on forever.  I love fighting machines. 

Lyrics:

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
and your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

so give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

there was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned
there was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
and the ground caved in between where we were standing
and your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

so give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

in every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny
and each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide
and your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

so give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide
across this new divide, across this new divide.

the catalyst (linkin park)

Why?  Because I have a fading memory of my brother Jon stealing money from my mom's purse and sending me on a secret mission to Ace Hardware (next to 7-Eleven).  My mission:  to rescue Optimus Prime from their toy shelves and to avoid parental detection.  


lyrics:

God bless us everyone
we're a broken people living under loaded gun
and it can't be outfought, it can't be outdone
it can't be outmatched, it can't be outrun, no

like memories in cold decay
transmissions echoing away
far from the world of you and I
where oceans bleed into the sky


God save us everyone
when we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns
for the sins of our hand, the sins of our tongue
the sins of our father, the sins of our young, no

like memories in cold decay
transmissions echoing away
far from the world of you and I
where oceans bleed into the sky

lift me up, let me go.

everything's tic-toc (viva death)

*Click here to listen*

Don’t wanna be here till the end of time
or the rest of my life
no one can tell me if it’s wrong or right
that’s for me to decide
if you won’t believe the truth believe the lie
that it’s best to get by
don’t wanna know the answer
nobody’s got a right to run you down
nobody’s ever gonna understand the reason why
are you listening?
are you listening?

you’re gonna sacrifice and do the time
for the rest of your life
no way to compromise or justify
if you know that it’s right
don’t wanna be the one you crucify
I can leave it behind
no way to meet your Maker
don’t waste a minute holding it inside
don’t hang a limit ticking in your heart and at your pride
are you listening?
are you listening?

nobody wants to be the one to tell it to you
you’re gonna have to get inside the truth
no going out with everybody crying over you
are you listening?
are you listening?

born again

There is a second life
beyond the point
you give up
you become unflinchingly alive
bored-out blasphemy
flapping in the wind
no cares
just guttural excitement

there is a constant scrutiny
of my bad intentions
there is a shadow war
I know I'm losing
everything is so complicated,
you see
everyone will judge
but not everyone will understand

there is truth
in my lame excuses
there are lies
poised behind these eyes
there are days
that bore right through me
if you're the type to judge
then do what you must
just remember
once they take me down
they're coming after you.

half asleep (trever keith)

Wake up now this time
you've been hiding
underneath the covers of your bed again
it's alright
I thought that I
could make this
into anything I wanted
suppose that I've forgotten
how to dream?
we could steal a little time away
and think of something more to say
to make it seem like it's alright
I thought that I
might feel something
different this time
instead I don't
feel anything at all

are you awake or am I talking to myself?
because I was hoping you weren't listening
you're such a fake
and I don’t know if I can tell
I wish that I could fall asleep again
wake up now this time
you're not fooling anyone
pretending that you're still asleep
but I don't mind
you said if I
woke up then I might never be able
to get myself to fall asleep again

are you awake or am I talking to myself?
because I was hoping you weren't listening
you're such a fake
and I don't know if I can tell
I wish that I
could fall asleep again.

another day

Another day
another evaporating dollar
so this is the way it goes
when you live in squalor
endless days
endless hours
the minutes linger
the seconds follow

every morning I wake
to crushing darkness
and a pool beneath my bed
every night I bleed out
what's good and right in me
you can see me
in the early morning shadows
gathering up what's left of me
making haste
before the world impinges on me

I'm just a hardcore kid
working a dead-end job
trying to avoid the scene
on my side of town
trying to turn this dust
into something better
trying but always failing
to make a rewarding tomorrow

my mistakes are monolithic
and true to form, immovable
what you see is what you get
more and more
there is less and less
so the story goes
so the song ends
tomorrow
is another day my friend.

screamager (therapy?)

*You don't need the lyrics*

girl

I don't say it enough
but I'm saying it now
I'm on the edge
and I'm saying it now
girls come
and girls go

you're the one
yeah, you're the one
a helluva girl
born and raised
hell on wheels all the way
you're the one
you're always fun
broken, bleeding
but you always run
you're the one

I don't say it enough
when I'm down
you erase my frown
you're mean
you're wise
you see right through me
when you look me in the eyes
nothing matters
like the deep, dark night
that's when I get
to hold you tight
in my hands
you melt
we mend
and tomorrow
we begin as one
you're the one.

toes (lights)

*Don't judge me, asshole.  Also, do you really need lyrics?  Okay, here they are.  Asshole.*

If you are a cliffhanger ending
I'm the one that doesn't know anything
like a magpie and a ring
I'm always going to be looking right to you

oh, you capture my attention
carefully listening
don't wanna miss a thing
keeping my eyes on you
got me on my toes

if I were to hide out on the sea
you'd be whispering from the westerlies
in any book I'll ever read
you'd be the line that sticks out to me
out to me

oh, you capture my attention
carefully listening
don't wanna miss a thing
keeping my eyes on you

oh, you capture my attention
I'm anticipating
I'm watching, I'm waiting
for you to make your move
got me on my toes
got me on my toes
got me on my toes

got me on my toes
got me on my toes

oh, you capture my attention
carefully listening
don't wanna miss a thing
keeping my eyes on you

oh, you capture my attention
I'm anticipating
I'm watching, I'm waiting
for you to make your move
got me on my toes
got me on my toes
got me on my toes.

sundog

I've got you and
you've got me
everybody's talking through
their fucking teeth
nobody's listening

there's a seismic shift
in the world today
everybody's talking
about the sky turned gray
everybody's talking and
nobody's listening

everything you do
that's true in this world
will come back to you
will come back to you
everything you say
is like sand in my eyes
but go ahead and say it anyway
just remember
nobody's listening

the preacher man
said there's something I should know
said it once
said it real slow
everybody gets
one life and one death
after all this
we all end up with nothing
why you want to
spend your life like you do
is beyond me
I'd say it to your face
but I know
nobody's home
nobody's listening.

shattered faith (bad religion)

The scientist purported that there ain't no purpose
and the theologian told me that it's all been designed
and I'm trying to maintain objectivity
the world won't illuminate what really matters
and I'm an imperfect moral meaning extractor
processing the complexity

born of the earth (are we blind? )
we weren't given a choice (there's no way)
what about free will? (what we have)
do we have a voice? (is shattered faith)
see them run in place (here and now)
in the human rat race (no reward)
so much dead weight (no debate) to our disgrace (accept your fate)
life begins when you accept your fate

paralysis from forces raging out of control until
my confidence and will are at an all-time low
just directionless wandering
eternal life, eternal truth, eternal secrets
isolated hopes and hypotheses just
leave me feeling so hungry

born of the earth (are we blind? )
we weren't given a choice (there's no way)
what about free will? (what we have)
do we have a voice? (is shattered faith)
see them run in place (here and now)
in the human rat race (no reward)
so much dead weight (no debate) to our disgrace (accept your fate)
life begins when you accept your fate

right or wrong,
the main criterion is what you do and not what you say
the roads you take, the friends you make and those you throw away
the method is a simple synthesis of the past and present state
you never lose if the path you choose is one you can easily navigate

I had a dream, light and carefree
but now there's doubt and gravity
but I won't run in place (are we blind? ) in the human rat race (there's no way)
I can set the pace (what we have) and accept my fate (is shattered faith)
shattered faith (here and now)
shattered faith (no reward)
the part of me (no debate) I can't erase (accept your fate).