finally aware

It is hard to say
what I've wasted the most
time, money, energy
It is hard to say
where it all went
and what I should do now
It is hard to say
how many distractions
have diverted a once powerful river
and choked it into stagnation
I am a dying stream,
polluted and putrefying
Even the most dehydrated, dying animal
should be wary of my waters
Is there an EPA
for a man's soul?
So many years I have ignored consequences
with boundless energy
I profaned the sacred
For so many years I bled
and did not feel it
Infection has gone to my brain
I am dying
and I am finally aware
There is no one to speak for me,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury
I take the blame
I take the punishment
my sins are evident
I've tuned my radio to the darkness
for so long
I've forgotten what a hymn sounds like.