words are weak

Are you jealous of her?
my secret lover is blank, expressionless
she knows only what I tell her
and never questions my judgment
As a whore, she lets me have my way
and never requests her turn
She is a bafflement
her selflessness disgusts me
I rage inside to destroy her
In a moment,
every bit of her could be gone
It's up to me
I have scarred her, marred her
with so many hateful words,
so many drunken and drowning scrawls
her skin is tattooed with my pictures
With her lips she draws me near,
with her heart she runs from me
I cannot capture her
words are weak
ideas are stillborn
My fingers blaspheme the fire in my brain
Intending to land a leviathan,
I have instead waded in with children
My eyes have blurred over
she whispers in my ear
I feel for her
She is the unattainable
I am the unlovable
our love is the perfect suicide.