those other voices

You'll have to forgive me
if I don't seem like myself
you know I've been this way
for a few years now
It's hard to say how it began
but something shook me hard--
so hard that I never came back
I remember that frozen road
when I was seventeen
those locked up brakes
two brothers in a ditch
I was forever changed
so I was told
There was the realization
of death sniffing outside my door
and the proximity of the end
Something like that is easy to see
how it can change you
boil you down into simple parts
but there is a difference this time
Still, I know something came
and something went
What it is that did me in
is still and silent in my memory
You found your little girl lost
you found your voice
even though no one cared to hear
you found the reason to run
but now you are tired in a worrying way
you are destined for something
and it tastes like the same old misery
You know she'd be fine
if you shuffled off
she has found the peace that you preached
and that has made you proud
Her laughter echoes in your vitals
but you can't stop the reverberation
of those other voices
Something has changed for sure
because you can't keep them quiet
they've got their marching orders
you have two fists of hate
but hate is for questions you can't answer
they just hang in the air
like pollen, like warplanes
and wait to reveal
that the life you've constructed
is nothing but paper-thin lies.