a man should know

I've wandered so far
from every signpost I've ever known
I've achieved a comfortable loneliness
Anyway,
I doubt anyone misses me
These wastelands I inhabit,
are they my home?
I was born at a time, in a place
that I can no longer conjure
Who I was, what I did
no longer have any bearing
A man should know where he comes from
but I have a hard time
keeping it straight
Did any of it leave a mark?
Did anyone become a part of me?
Is there a litmus test for this,
something to make me remember?
I always preferred the alley ways,
the subtle jokes to the grotesque
My sin was a big one--
the sun was always blinding and
I wanted it all for myself
Those things that make you feel small
are the things you vow to own
but I couldn't contain you
could I?
You will stand taller every day
and I will sink into the shadows
still squinting at your sunlight.