heaven (bryan adams) version #2

*Forgive my insanity.  Another version of Heaven.  Still not getting what he wants.  Still alone.  This time alone in a crowd.  I feel like I'm beating a dead horse, but sometimes pain is more compelling than satisfaction.  We equate struggle with growth and once you stop growing, well, you begin rotting.  There has to be something here about our cultural obsession with youth and struggle.  Who wants to be simple and satisfied?  The middle-aged, the comfort crowd, the Buick buyers among us?  Being happy doesn't have to mean being boring, but often it does.*

grass kart racing (crazy speeds)

*This is exactly what my winterized soul needs right now.  What would be more fun that doing this?  I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it would involve doing this plus doing cocaine.  What are you waiting for?  Throw me a helmet!*

heaven (dj sammy ft.do)

*I remembered this version (released in 2002) of Bryan Adam's song and thought I would post it because it, too, has a haunting quality.  It has a hollow feel to it, an emptiness.  The fact that the song was remade, reformatted doesn't matter.  Good songs come through unscathed.  I think that's the case with this one.*

heaven (bryan adams)

*Bryan Adams circa 1984, quite a sight!  One very important fact about this video is that he is alone the entire time.  This song is not about being with someone.  This song is about being alone, about wanting to be with someone.  There's a difference.  Maybe that's why I get it.*

Oh thinkin' about all our younger years
there was only you and me
we were young and wild and free
now nothing can take you away from me
we've been down that road before
but that's over now
you keep me comin' back for more

and baby you're all that I want
when you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
we're in heaven
and love is all that I need
and I found it there in your heart
it isn't too hard to see
we're in heaven

oh once in your life you find someone
who will turn your world around
bring you up when you're feelin' down
now nothin' can change what you mean to me
oh there's lots that I could say
but just hold me now
cause our love will light the way

and baby you're all that I want
when you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
we're in heaven
and love is all that I need
and I found it there in your heart
it isn't too hard to see
we're in heaven

I've been waitin' for so long
for somethin' to arrive
for love to come along
wow our dreams are comin' true
through the good times and the bad
I'll be standin' there by you

and baby you're all that I want
when you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
we're in heaven
and love is all that I need
and I found it there in your heart
it isn't too hard to see
we're in heaven 

heaven

you're all that I want
you're all that I need

we're in heaven.

it's you (michelle branch)

*A little gem of a song.  I didn't think that including the lyrics was necessary, but it just reinforces the fact that this is a very simple song and benefits from that.  Too often, songs are adulterated and overproduced.  I'm glad this one is unmolested.  Also, there is an old hymn tucked into the end of the song.  Strange.*

If tomorrow never comes
I would want just one thing
I would tell it to the stars and the sun
I would write it for the world to see
and it's you
the light changes when you're in the room
oh it's you
oh it's you

if tomorrow never comes
I would want just one wish
to kiss your quiet mouth
trace the steps with my fingertips
and it's you
the light changes when you're in the room
oh it's you
oh it's you
oh it's you.

just another day (jon secada)

*This song echoes a recurring theme in my life.  Glad I rediscovered it.  Keep an open mind and I think you'll agree it's more than just a pop song.*

Mornings alone
when you come home
I breathe a little faster
every time we're together
I'd never be the same
if you're not here
how can you stay away,
away so long

why can't we stay together
give me a reason
give me a reason

I,
I don't wanna say it
I don't wanna find another way
to make it through the day without you
I,
I can't resist
trying to find exactly what I miss
it's just another day without you
it's just another day

making the time
find the right lines
to make you stay forever
what do I have to tell you
I'm just trying to hold on to something
(trying to hold on to something good)
give us a chance to make it

don't wanna hold on to never
I'm not that strong
I'm not that strong

I,
I don't wanna say it
I don't wanna find another way
make it through the day without you
I,
I can't resist
trying to find exactly what I miss
it's just another day without you

why can't you stay forever
just give me a reason
give me a reason.

I rise

Got my teeth kicked in again
been spitting blood all day
people
they wonder why
I don't just go away
I always come back
like a fucking disease
burn me, bury me
chlorine, gasoline
give me everything you got
take me to the river
sing me your song
lay me down in that sweet water
eyes toward the sky
will I rise or will I sink
you best be warned
I come for you tonight
in your fucking sleep

I laugh at the storm
I pity the waves
they are wild and free
but they are nothing like me
bore into me
and I will bore into you
try to break me
and I will erase you
try to change me
and I will humble you

in this war
there are no treaties
in this war
you will see
I am bigger and stronger
than anything you've ever seen
man on man
man versus machine
I will make war
and burn you in the fucking streets.

just can't get enough (DMK)

*Depeche Mode covers are as ubiquitous as seagulls at the seashore, but this one is fun.  A good song will remain a good song, no matter the treatment.  Oh, and I want to take those kids home with me!*

kill jenny like that (the legion of doom)

*I can't believe it has taken me this long to post some Legion of Doom.  LOD does mashups.  Chad Blinman and Trever Keith (Face to Face) run the show.  They never made videos for the songs.  Everything that you can find is fan-produced.*

working this job (drive-by truckers)

*Some of you out there might know what this is all about.  If you don't, good.  I hope you never know.*

sons of sceva

Where were you
when this storm of hate
overtook us
this insufferable sickness
this horde of oppression
this biblical pestilence
where were you
my friend
when the world turned to hate
when the blood ran
to the horses' bridles
and the saints came crashing in
were you shouldering your load
alone or with friends
were you alarmed
were you disarmed
were you friend or foe
one of them or one of us
lay your head down
peacefully
lay your life down
fruitlessly
and when the machines come
they will tear from us
our jugulars
but we will be wholeheartedly
entertained.

withdrawal

Breathe in
breathe out
eventually the pain will disengage
today is another step back
another ten miles
in the wrong direction
what a perilous place to be
so far from fuel
every landmark is unfamiliar
and someone menacing is on my trail

golden one
unflinching in the sun
monster, creator, saviour
what odds brought me here
what fate, what fire
where have you gone
my golden one?

there was fire in the sky today
there was noise
there was billowing smoke
ghost trains to nowhere
bats out of hell
I saw nothing
but my little world dying
in great detail
spelled out
with an imprimatur of hate
what I am is a prisoner
what I am is waiting

all I want
is the sun and rain
the pleasure and the pain
all I want
is a measure of freedom
all I want is you

golden one
you are my sun
you are my moon and stars
you are my blood
you are my scars
baby girl
you are the beginning
and I fear you will be
the end of me.

dearly beloved (bad religion)

*A good piano cover of a punk song.  One thing about good songs is that it doesn't matter what the format is, it's still a good song.  Look at all of the Depeche Mode covers out there, and most of them are very good because the songs are resilient.  They have strong bones.  More on this at a later date.*

a cloud by day

Pardon me for believing
life shouldn't be this hard
pardon me for believing
in something bigger than me
pardon me
for even being alive

sometimes
these small towns
won't let you breathe
sometimes
they wound you
just to see you grieve
sometimes
they tear you asunder
just to pick through your bones
and shake their heads

what is life without resistance
logic without madness
the sun without the rain
pleasure without the contrast of pain
I've had enough, thank you
thank you for all the wounds
all the scars
all the affliction
directed at me
from so many fallen stars

every life is measured out
pain and perseverance
every one of us
will go through fire
if you look me in the eyes
you will see
that I've lost all desire

promises have no weight
they all sound like hate
and noise and everything unkind
I still have hope
and that's about it
I've reached out and touched
the tip of something moving over me
could it be
the answer is wrapped up
inside this mysterious thing
could it be
the answer was waiting for me
outside my little world of hate?

sorrow (Bad Religion) on piano

*From Youtube (Alex Sandweiss).  Most of Bad Religion's songs are composed on piano, so covers like this are not uncommon.  Well, this one is particularly amazing.*

the dodo (bad religion)

*Another rare Bad Religion song.  Easy to see why these rare tracks didn't make it to albums.  They have an appeal to the faithful, though.  I don't know how you can be alive and aware and not feel this way, especially in these unusual times.*

I see a white-haired man
he's got a suit on and
he's telling people
how they're supposed to live
nobody's listening
to the politician
no matter what sage advice he has to give

he's got a clumsy, outdated m.o.
and he's come to a fork in the road
and there is only one direction to go

among the commuters
dwarfed by the skyscrapers
I watch the countless millions fighting for space
see hateful, petty acts
disjointed images
and can't believe that I'm one of the same race

we're all just struggling to cope
and we've come to a fork in the road
as we watch our foundations erode
there is only one direction to go

it's the way of the dodo
such a noble destiny
it's the waltz of desperation
passed along to you and me
the way of the dodo

it's the gray stuff in your head
it's the pulse of the living
and the voices of the dead
the way of the dodo.

anthem

There is an anthem
in here somewhere
there's got
to be a way
there is the rolling
of the thunder
and the skies are melting
on my window panes
summer is reluctant
to turn over the keys
but it's hard to ignore
the cicadas in the trees

in every season
there is wonder
in every sunrise
there is hope
there is my anthem
there, in the sky
seasons will always change
so there is hope
for you and I.

Crime Story

*A bit of a Dennis Farina tribute.  Crime Story was one of my favorite shows in the 80s.  Short-lived, of course.*

still into you

*Because after sixteen years (nine years with a ring on my finger), I still feel the same way.  A very lighthearted video, but reading the lyrics lends depth.*  

Can’t count the years on one hand
that we’ve been together
I need the other one to hold you
make you feel, make you feel better
it’s not a walk in the park
to love each other
but when our fingers interlock
can’t deny, can’t deny
you’re worth it

cause after all this time
I’m still into you

I should be over all the butterflies
but I’m into you
and baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you
let em wonder how we got this far
cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
yeah after all this time
I’m still into you

recount the night that I first
met your mother
and on the drive back to my house
I told you that, I told you that I loved ya
you felt the weight of the world
fall off your shoulder
and to your favorite song
we sang along to the start of forever

and after all this time
I’m still into you

I should be over all the butterflies
but I’m into you
and baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you
let em wonder how we got this far
cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
yeah after all this time
I’m still into you

some things just
some things just make sense
and one of those is you and I
some things just
some things just make sense
and even after all this time
I’m into you
baby not a day goes by that
I’m not into you

I should be over all the butterflies
but I’m into you
and baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you
let em wonder how we got this far
cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
yeah after all this time
I’m still into you.

thank you

Where were you
when the music died
were you in the darkness
cigarette in mouth
notebook in hand
staring into the woods
were you working your life away, toiling endlessly
were you on the highway
caffeine-addled and sleep-deprived?

where were you, my friend
when your life turned
from comedy to tragedy
were you busy in the shower
washing the hate from your skin
were you on the roof alone
drunk, with only the streetlights
to bear witness?

were you buried in rain
were you gasping for breath
were you cursing the walls
cursing yourself
and everyone else?

where were you
when the life you knew
excused itself
and then committed suicide
while you walked away?

when did the night
and the diesel roar
become your enemy
when did you walk away
from your own bleeding wounds
what sent you into the night
never to return?

who stands in your stead
answers to your name
uses your mouth, your hands
makes love
but in the mirror
refuses to make eye contact
who is this man
living, breathing in your stead
is he the answer to the question
how do you begin
once the music ends?

he is waiting
for you to thank him
for pulling you out
of so much misery.

begin again

You bred me to be hard
cauterized my exterior
disciplined me with rigor
planted in me integrity
and cultivated in me a wilfulness
that exceeds the limits of my body

with great wonder
I realize you've loosed me
into a world much my enemy
for what purpose?
to refine me?
to keep me close?
to break me?

I have thirsted for you
since my life began
sought you out in every dark corner
you raised me to see
the world so differently
created me this way

in the coldest nights
I felt your warmth
in my lowest moments
you sustained me
when I lost faith in myself
you recompensed my loss

I have Jonah in my veins
stubborn and strong
I have resisted and persisted
to my own destruction

when I found
the end of myself
you were there
to help me begin again.

aftermath

 

Gold is something
pain is something
everybody knows
I ain't got nothin
round and round
here we go again
little girl
where have you been?

I've been waiting
contrite and cold
out in the night
among the rain
among the stars
Haitian necklaces
burning cars
itching scars
forgotten
alone

I burrowed into the night
what is fear?
I have become it
what is rage?
it's what I am
burning boy
meet burning man

hold out your hands little girl
you will become
my broken one
you can't remember
how could you
how I would writhe
how I would plead
how I would bleed
how I would burn
turn your back
before I turn on you
baby girl
I've been ground down
more aftermath than man
help me if you can
put an end
to this hardscrabble man.

waiting room (fugazi)

*If you don't like this song, then you don't have a hardcore bone in your body.  First band I ever saw live.  Also, defunct.*

I am a patient boy
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait
my time is like water down a drain
everybody's moving
everybody's moving
everybody's moving, moving, moving, moving
please don't leave me to remain
in the waiting room
I don't want the news
I cannot use it
I don't want the news
I won't live by it
sitting outside of town
everybody's always down
tell me why
because they can't get up
ahhh
come on and get up
come on and get up
but I don't sit idly by
ahhh
I'm planning a big surprise
I'm gonna fight for what I want to be
I won't make the same mistakes
because I know
because I know how much time that wastes
and function
function is the key
to the the waiting room
I don't want the news
I cannot use it
I don't want the news
I won't live by it
sitting outside of town
everybody's always down
tell me why
because they can't get up
Ahhh
come on and get up
up for the waiting room
sitting in the waiting room
ahhh
tell me why
because they can't get up.

louder

You and me
and the devil makes three
he is laughing
or is he crying
the world is boys and girls
and the trouble they make
little girl
this is a dismal world for us
little girl
let no one rebuke you
hold my hand
we wander through the land
and burn in every bed
what is it behind your eyes
I must have it
what speaks to you
in that hushed voice
I must hear it
what drives you onward
I must know it
let the skies gather storms
let the wind grow strong
let the earth remove itself
I will roar
louder than all of them
the day
you are taken away.

hello cruel world (bad religion)

I can't stop
the way I feel
but I can penetrate your religion
with a nail
you are mine
and we are twine
when we radiate in waves together
everything is fine

hello cruel world
do you know that you're killing me
I don't mind
but I could use a little sympathy

I've been blind
as a fool can be
my dear cruel world
do you ever think about me

I can feel so alone
with you right here
and yet, I turn to you for comfort
in my despair
you are dust
and I am bone
and I will love your endless gaze of madness
until I turn to stone

hello cruel world
do you know that you're killing me
I don't mind
but I could use a little sympathy

I've been blind
as a fool can be
my dear cruel world
now I know you are my everything
please forgive me

I've been blind
as a fool can be
my dear cruel world
now I've made a mess of everything.

the day you ran away

Wish you were here
on this clear, blue day
wish you were here
but you never stay

freedom is as freedom does
and you have shown yourself
to be far above
all of this and all of that

still, I wish you were here

there was always
sunshine in your eyes
there was always
an intensity you couldn't disguise
there was always
you and I

when does this begin to make sense
this constant leaving
everyone leaves
that's the way it goes
why can't I accept
that we're all just traveling through

I will always
want you by my side
I will always keep those tender moments
until the end of my life
I will always
search for you
on those dirt roads to nowhere
those back lots and alleyways
in those hidden places
we explored together

I will always chase you
and curse the day
you ran away from me.

my sister's tiny hands (handsome family)

We came in this world together
legs wrapped round each other
my cheek against my sister's
we were born like tangled vine
we lived along the river
where the black clouds never lingered
the sunlight spread like honey in my sister's tiny hands
but while picking sour apples
in the wild, waving grasses
sister stumbled in a briar and was bitten by a snake

every creature casts a shadow
under the sun's golden finger
but when the sun
sinks past the waving grass
some shadows are dragged along

alone, I took to drinking
bottles of cheap whiskey
and staggering through the back woods
killing snakes with a sharpened stick
but still I heard her laughing
in those wild, waving grasses
still her tiny hands went splashing
at the river's sparkling shore
so I took my rusty gas can
and an old iron shovel
I set the woods to burning
and choked the river up with stones.

finite (bad religion)

*Bonus track from The Dissent of Man.*

In a quantity of light
you can search for all of your life
but it's finite
from a sudden burst of sound
the recoil may never be found
it is finite

on and on
on and on
but impervious to calculation
on and on, it's impervious to calculation
just how far it goes, nobody knows

in the peaceful warm embrace
the intention shows on your face
but its finite
from the hate that spurs us on
to the meek and gullible pawn
it is finite

on and on, on and on
it's impervious to calculation
on and on
but impervious to calculation
just how far it goes

where the lightning sparked a flash
when precisely did it pass
all delusions went away
as with all the shades of gray
now I'm left with faulty tools
and a hazy set of rules
and a brand new day

in the turbulent conscious stream
the unbearable lightness of being
it is finite
from the universal mass
constant matters coming to pass
it is finite

an and on, on and on
but impervious to calculation
on and on, its impervious to calculation
just how far it goes, nobody knows
no one knows.

the devil and I

Why so sore
why so broken
why in the middle of the night
do I mouth these words unspoken
why so sick
why so weak
why so permanently
left behind

the mirror before me
laughs at my despair
the world itself
laughs at my need for repair
I am abused and humbled daily
strip-mined, clear-cut
wasted, neglected
I stopped relying
on my own strength long ago
who can help me now?

for those who see no need
for a God
good for you
but as for me
I need someone to stand between
the devil and I.

dept. of false hope (bad religion)

Welcome, my son,
to where the work is never done
and the hungry are seldom ever fed

the department of false hope
is a proving ground for dopes
and they'll grind your tiny bones to make their bread

so hold your head up high, forgotten man
tomorrow won't be made for you
and everybody's gotta try to lend a helping hand
for god and man, there's nothing more to do

it crackled on the radio
through bright plumes of the sun
the announcer said the age of faith was dead

though the adolescent nation
was just looking for salvation
the beast of reason reared its ugly head

so hold your head up high, forgotten man
tomorrow's not for me and you
and everybody's gotta try to lend a helping hand
for god and man, there's nothing more to do

from your cradle of destruction
with the poorest of instruction
and the merest sliver of a tune
oh, you managed somehow to muddle through

so hold your head up high, forgotten man
tomorrow's not for me and you
and everybody's gotta try to lend a helping hand
for god and man, there's nothing more to do

there is nothing more . . .

humble

Insanity is boring into me
I had every advantage
every day
I bred nothing but hate
what is this belligerent ride
this beautiful
dangerous
death machine
what is this manic panic
unpardonable sin
what is this hate
this noise
this place of war
what is it
still in the air
between you and I
what is the reason
for this midnight lunacy
now I know
why I can't sleep at night
it is you
riding though me
with a cold touch
and a broad smile
striking fear
striking so much fear
girls like you
do nothing
but humble men like me.

when I get old (descendents)

*What I'm finding out.  And no, I don't still sleep on the floor.*


What will it be like when I get old
will I still hop on my bike
and ride around town
will I still want to be someone
and not just sit around
I don't want to be like other adults
cause they've already died
cool and condescending, fossilized
will I be rich
will I be poor
will I still sleep on the floor
what will it be like when I get
what will I be like when I get
what will it be like when I get old

will I still kiss my girlfriend
and try to grab her ass
will I still hate the cops
and have no class
will all my grown-up friends say
they've seen it all before
they say hey act your age
and I'm immature
will I do myself proud
or only what's allowed
what will it be like when I get
what will I be like when I get
what will it be like when I get old

will I sit around and talk about the old days
sit around and watch TV
I never want to go that way
never burn out
not fade away
as I travel through my time
will I like what I find
what will it be like when I get
what will I be like when I get
what will it be like when I get old.

goodbye EP3

The EP3 was the European Civic Type R, sold in the U.S. as the Si (with a detuned engine).  Made at the Swindon plant.  I just sold mine.

do you still hate me? (jawbreaker)

Been hearing about you
all about your disapproval
still I remember
the way I used to move you
I wrote you a letter
I heard it just upset you
why don't you tell me?
how can I do this better?
are you out there?
do you hear me?
can I call you?
do you still hate me?
are we talking?
are we fighting?
is it over?
are we writing?
we're getting older
but we're acting younger
we should be smarter
it seems we're getting dumber
I have a picture
of you and me in Brooklyn
on a porch, it was raining
hey, I remember that day
and I miss you.

cross your heart and hope to die (trever keith)

I won't be long
I just remembered something
you should go on
before the light behind you
fades
such a shame about the weather
it feels
like it's never going to change

unbreakable
what's already broken
and so it goes
not a word is spoken
and the knife gets twisted deeper with a grin
and it doesn't feel like anything
begin to slowly fade
such a shame about the weather
it feels
like it's never going to change

so all along you wanted something
(cross your heart and hope to die)
and all along I didn't care
I don't blame you for never being there
all together now we crumble
into this

I won't be long
I just remembered something
you should go on before the light behind you
fades

so all along you wanted something
(cross your heart and hope to die)
and all along I didn't care
I don't blame you for never being there
all together now we crumble
into this.

the music that died

It's been twenty years
since you and I
laid eyes on one another
what a horrible thought--
twenty years
since you broke me
we were all gods then
raping, conquering
unstoppable and chaotic
I still feel you in me
pulsing, convulsing
to the music that died
so long ago

your blood
so hot
your skin
so perfect
remains in the clear and cold
Colorado air
damn me
damn me and these latent
photographs and fantasies
I can't separate
God's truth from fabrication
I can't breathe
this awful air
without you
strangling me
burning girl
meet
burning boy
it's no wonder
we set the world on fire
you set me up
you tore me down
two years later
you got the fuck out of town
what a girl
burning down the world
one hotel room at a time
one broken bottle
and one broken heart
at a time.

face up (lights)

It's late and I am tired
wish I could spark a smile
the place is flying high
but right now I want to be low
don't want to move an inch
let alone a million miles
and I don't want to go
but I know I gotta go
I just want to feel alive

the times
you don't want to wake up
cause in your sleep it's never over when you give up
the sun
is always going to rise up
you need to get up
gotta keep your head up
look at
the people all around you
the way you feel is something everybody goes through
dark out
but you still gotta light up
you need to wake up
gotta keep your face up

seems like the more you grow
the more time you spend alone
before you know it
you end up perfectly on your own
the city's shining bright
but you don't see the light
how come you concentrate on things
that don't make you feel right
I just want to feel alright

I'm looking for more than a little bit
I'm gonna have to find my way through it
gonna leave a mark
I'm gonna set a spark
I'm coming off the ground
I won't be looking down.

monkey in a teacup

Some days
are made for sun
some days
are made for rain
some days
there's nothing but pain
some days
there's you
some days
there's me
someday
we'll be together
just wait and see.

quiet (lights)

*Thought I'd re-upload this.  It seems appropriate.  Of course, when isn't it?  Sorry for the sound quality.*

I'm not yours, and you're not mine
but we can sit and pass the time
no fighting wars, no ringing chimes
we're just feeling fine
this is where we're supposed to be
sitting by a broken tree
no tragedy, no poetry
just staring at the sky

I could wait a thousand hours
stay the same in sun and showers
pick apart a hundred flowers
just to be quiet
tell me when you'll feel ready
I'm the one,
there's not too many
hold my hand to keep me steady
just to be quiet
with you, with you

I like it here, beside you dear
you're even more than you appear
and in the clouds my head is clear
every time you say hello

Here's my heart and here's my mouth
and I can't help if things come out
'cause there are words I want to shout
but maybe I'll stay low

I could wait a thousand hours
stay the same in sun and showers
pick apart a hundred flowers
just to be quiet
tell me when you'll feel ready
I'm the one, there's not too many
hold my hand to keep me steady
just to be quiet

with you, with you, with you, with you

I'm not yours, and you're not mine
but we can sit and pass the time.

spilled milk

I came for you
I came for you,
it's true
I came for nothing
nothing at all

it's just another line--
"I don't have the time"
I gave you everything I had
and you gave me nothing
nothing at all

stop asking me what's wrong
it's just another fucked-up song
stuck in my head
playing over and over
a thousand times
it doesn't mean anything
it means nothing at all

form the words
formulate the lies
I can see
right-fucking-through you
it's there in your eyes
but you always look away
that's okay
I can walk away
and still remain the same
I will always have
what I've always had--
nothing
nothing at all.

the shining sea

There is a war in your eyes
so blatant it makes me blush
bonfires, war, rape
lust beyond all lust
you want this with a force
that brings me to my knees
how can something
so dark and dirty
burn with such a bright light

there is something between us
something stopping us
and you hate me for it
it's the last fighting synapses
the last of my good intentions

so you will bore into me
and find me empty
move on, pretty girl
move on, as I have
beyond this hollow place of
harassment, molestation and noise
move with me
to the shining sea
where broken bodies
and broken souls go
to live a better way.

love like winter (AFI)

Warn your warmth
to turn away
here it's december
every day
press your lips to the sculptures
and surely you'll stay
for of sugar and ice
I am made

it's in the blood
it's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
he wanted love
I taste of blood
he bit my lip
and drank my war
from years before

she exhales vanilla lace
I barely dreamt her yesterday
read the lines in the mirror
through the lipstick trace
por siempre
she said
it seems you're somewhere
far away
to his face

it's in the blood
it's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
she wanted love
I taste of blood
she bit my lip
and drank my war
from years before

love like winter.

a thousand days

He's not sick
but he's not well
that man
has walked through
a living hell
what he needs
is a thousand days
to surface and recover
to decompress and discover

that man
is hate and noise
and cancerous hope
his days are treacherous
his nights are insufficient
golden were his promises--
rusting now in disuse

when the wind blows over him
his heart races
his mind sharpens
and his body kicks against the pricks
what a way to end up
sold into slavery
chomping at the bit
broken down
but ready to run
beyond this belligerent place
and into
the blinding sun.

murderous boys

Little baby red
you just bled and bled
little baby girl
head full of curls
what do you know
about the end of the world?

there was nothing
but red skies
the day you were born
nothing but rain
ever since
little girl
will you make it
to see tomorrow?

the world is hate
the world is noise
it's overgrown
with murderous boys
keep your eyes on the skies
because a change is coming soon

keep your innocence
keep your wonder
keep on praying
for a change to come soon.

Rachel weeping for her children

Give me
the cold and the stars
give me
war and burning cars
give me
all the sin behind your eyes
what do you know about it, man?
I'm doing everything I can
to keep the heavens
from falling

give me
filth and sad songs
give me
endless excuses and retribution
give me
mankind on its knees
who keeps score
when we're all dead?
I'm disgusted
but I can't get away
you constrain me
to stay in the fray

the world needs hope
but hope's not enough
can you hear your mother pleading?
can you feel
the evil in your land?
tonight
we all cry for you.

a smirk and a laugh

I've let too many things
out of my sight
once, I owned the world
once, I created and conquered
but oh,
it feels like so long ago
there is madness in this
insistent failure
pain and bloodstains
follow every step
how can one man endure
such a world of hurt

wickedness is rising in me
my body is wasting
my mind is staggering
I am alone again
with my own poisonous thoughts
girls once tempted
life once beckoned
my thoughts were clean
but not pristine

now I watch and wait
a patient fool
while my world disintegrates
a smirk and a laugh
are all I have left.

silence reigns

Wet pavement
wet eyes
there is nothing but pain
falling from the skies
girls turn into women
boys turn into beasts
no one is left here
but you and me
the heavens are brass
the earth is iron
no one told me anything
I never saw this coming
one into two
and two into the blue
what the hell
happened to you?

wandering stars
wandering eyes
I've been persuaded
and have been
left behind
here I am
more an animal
than a man
waiting for the skies to heal
waiting for tomorrow
waiting for
those wandering stars
to run away distracted
new wine and new song
wait for me
the same old thing
can't keep me here
empty promises
beleaguer the story
endless rhyme
will end in time
wet pavement
wet eyes
midnight
and silence reigns
on the edge of town.

into madness

A once-drowning man
will always extol
the virtues of his saviour
such is my situation
no hyperbole necessary
my life is in peril
every day

what a time to be alive
what turmoil surrounds us
saints and sinners alike
are racing headlong
into madness

wake up, world
slumber no more
what has mesmerized
and blinded you
to the impending collapse?
your skimpy clothes
are no match
for the coming
cold of night

I'm trying to keep
my blessings in front of me
I need a buffer
of hope
I need a reminder
that night
won't last forever.

stone for a pillow

You say
I'm not allowed to walk away
you say
I'll find my place
you say
a lot of suspect things
I'm sorry
little girl
but I've already left you behind
my body
a hateful conveyance
still holds the minimum, the basic parts
whatever is necessary
to keep you fooled

the best and brightest parts of me
stand sighing on Jordan's banks
ready and waiting
permanently fixed on the other side

fifteen years
it's been you and I
suffering fitful contact
standing, sitting, shuffling about
but always waiting and wondering

you say
it's just a matter of time
but I don't believe it anymore
you say
"we all have to go through something"
but I'm pretty sure
something went through  me
you say
"tomorrow is another day"
I know--
that's what I'm afraid of
I am
the worm Jacob
blessed beyond compare
but I just want to go home.

braided

Two trees
trunks like vines
permanently entwined
like legs and arms
wrestling, fighting
sucking from the ground
what nourishment they can
it's you and I
planted too close
needing too much
starving each other
slowly, laboriously

neither can walk away
neither can thrive
pitied by passers-by
envied by the lonely

there is no truth
without you
there is no sky we can't divide
the wind is ours
the rain we share
we will remain like this
a tragic pair.