so emo

There is no warning in this murky night
there is just silence
cold silence
indifferent silence
an ocean of silence above and beyond
Can anything penetrate
this empty, defeated feeling
I'm carrying around?
Gray days have come and gone
but I still struggle and mope

God, you're so emo, they say
I say, Hey, I was emo before emo was cool
and follow with
if emo was ever cool
I'm pretty sure some of them think emo is cool
I'm pretty sure none of them think I'm cool
My jokes are my faithful defense
but my jokes are watching their backs
because of bigger, meaner ones in the water
The fresher the joke
the bigger the teeth
and I've been feeding mine for far too long
It's safe to say
they've grown older and duller with me

What is the point, you ask
where is the insight
the bravery to bare all
Well,
it lies in the world of desire
because desire informs reality
and friend
I have lost every desire
but the thought
that I could easily disappear
and no one would care or wonder
or ponder or probe
Have you heard these words
echoed in someone else?
Have they haunted you
as they haunt me?
Have you felt the same urge
to erase your reflection in the mirror?
Do you even bother with mirrors anymore
or are you too fragile?
What happens when the questions stop
and the silence begins?
Do you feel the hands of time lurching methodically
or do you feel nothing at all?
Your heart races in anticipation
the end is an emotion
and you rapturously wait to disappear.