separation anxiety

I'm drawing the end in
with each painful breath
and exhaling
the last of my hope
The tiredness I feel
is unnatural and inhuman
It is the tiredness
of a worn out machine
Surrounded by dead end freaks
and burnouts
and pretty girls with dirty mouths
I wonder
how I can keep coming back
My mantra is simple and resilient
because it has to be
My mantra is your name
and your face
and your flesh on mine

From the time
you took a chance
on a kid from the middle of nowhere
You've been combusting inside me
energizing and propelling me
If there was no more you
then there may as well be
nothing else
Paint the world black
turn out the lights
and in familiar darkness
I will imagine your light
your smile, your laugh

It's been me and these rancid notebooks
for so many years
I've spilled myself here
so I'll never forget
cut myself down
so I'll never stop listening
What I've given to these pages
they will never give back
I've given these words away
and watched them mutate
This is my life
this is my blood
and you're all standing in it
shaking your heads and pointing fingers
Those who criticize
never seem to do anything at all
and self-appointed authorities
are the most unwelcome of all
Sometimes all you need
is one person who understands
This is my need
this is my mantra.