you bleed

I know you bleed for me
I see it dripping
every time you speak
What you want from me
is some kind of a sign
that I'm still alive
You sing your songs
and I dance along
That's the way
we've always been
So many nights
I begged you
to be alone with me
but you wouldn't bend
to my selfish needs
When we lived in the corner apartment
on Napoleon Road
there were so many times
I thought I lost you
Breathing in that dirty air
was a potent form of unkindness
I didn't walk away
but I did smoke more cigarettes
took long walks
was unafraid of the darkness
saw your face everywhere
and got drunk in my green chair
People said I went strange
something solidified
madness tore though me
Under a cold moon
all I had was you
but you were always so far away

Time has barely changed us
we are similar enough
to appreciate one another
Different enough
to always wonder
Sometimes I feel
you regard me as a time bomb
sometimes
I see the panic in your eyes
"Get your shit together,"
I can hear you say
but part of me
is still laying under that dirty air
paralyzed, barely breathing
staring at the alarm clock
certain that suffering
doesn't last forever.