your effect

There is no fire in the sky
when you walk by
no unholy chatter behind my eyes
It's just you--
the same old you
What is it that's changed?
Have you outgrown the mold?
Have I killed the mechanism
that kept you alive for so long?
It's tough
when you miss your maladies
It's hard
when you crave your diseases
You're just a skinny, underdeveloped,
overexposed and unrepentant girl
made of the same stuff
as the rest of us
You became a crutch
and then became a master
Looking over these words
I see your effect
looking in on this mess
I see my epic mistake
A colder wind is blowing now
and as always
time is immune to our struggles
What I needed from you
was never there
What I always got
was an itch and a burn
that still lingers
Is there a switch
to turn you off?
No, you're not going away
If you don't have freckles
I will add them
If your eyes aren't large enough
I will enlarge them
If your voice falters
I will falter too
If you leave
I will remember you.